Why I never make New Year’s Resolutions

because by January 2nd I can’t remember what they are.  I don’t remember if I made any last year, or ever in my life.  Perhaps I’m just blocking them out because I didn’t bother to work on them even once and it’s easier to just not remember.  I could go back on my blog and look.

This year I’m thinking about posting some, as a time capsule so that next year I can look back and wonder what I was thinking. They need to be things I can actually do though, so that I can cross them off without feeling like a failure.   Here are some that I’m considering:

1.  Keep all children alive.

2.  Stay warm.

3.  Go to work on days I’m supposed to work.

4.  Find someone else to clean the toilet.

5.  Drink more coffee and alcohol.

6.  Talk to Abrah almost every day.

7.  Have more money in the bank than I write checks for.

Or I could get a little more tricky:

1.  Never run out of coffee.

2.  Only wear clean clothes.

3.  Always check stomach for toothpaste before going to work.

4.  Don’t become a grandparent.

5.  Laugh more, and not sarcastically.

6.  Only have a half glass of chocolate wine at a time.

7.  Find someone else to clean the toilet.

8.  Budget . . . Hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

9.  Make my golfer on Tiger Woods 2010 as good as Tiger Woods

10.  Shave quarterly.

11.  Buy doorknobs

12.  Have another look besides “windblown”

13.  Find a hobby other that “housekeeper”

14.  Find a sense of humor.

Or the really ridiculous:

1.  Lose 10 pounds.

2.  Be happier.

3.  Drink more water.

I keep adding new ones to the list, but then I start to laugh in my head and it brings tears to my eyes and then I move it to a different list.