How to Kick Your Parents Out

I never thought my parents would be houseguests in my house, at least not until they got old enough to need someone to care for them but since I bought the house I grew up in so they would have the money to build a new one they’ve been my houseguests.  And it’s time for them to move out on their own.

I’ve been trying to find the best way to tell them this:

I’ve decided it’s time for me to live independently?

I think I’ve done all I can do here?

Don’t you want to get away from all the crying babies and teenagers?

There comes a time in one’s life when a person needs to stop clinging to the apron strings?

Maybe I should do a Grey’s Anatomy on them.

Speaking of which, I DID NOT KNOW that I was buying a house where high speed internet was impossible.  Where cell reception is so bad that to send a text I have to wander around with my phone upside side above my head until I catch a ray of signal.  I DID NOT KNOW that Amazon Prime doesn’t work and I don’t mean instant streaming.  Of course that doesn’t work without internet.  No, I’m talking about 2 day shipping.  Doesn’t exist here.  In fact, here doesn’t even exist.  We are at this moment the only house in Wheelock that’s not actually in Wheelock.  The rest of Wheelock is way over there and we’re up a dirt road in Sheffield.  So to get a box delivered I have to try towns until it will take one.  And then hope something shows up.

That’s enough for today, but remind me to tell you about the rest of my life later.  Over coffee in the morning.

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