Nothing will cure my EAR INFECTION.

I’ve tried  garlic, eating it, breaking a capsule open and putting it in my ear.

I’ve inhaled steam with tea tree oil, put tea tree oil in my ear, and gargled with it.

I’ve tried rubbing alcohol and hydrogen peroxide.

I used ear drop homeopathic stuff that was outdated by 3 year so I bought some more and that didn’t work either.

Slept on a hot rice bag.

Drank organic apple cider vinegar for weeks.

I tried a hair dryer, sudafed, advil sinus, peppermint schnapps and a box of wine.  Not all at the same time!

I have waited 3 months.

And I’m still half deaf, it sounds like the ocean, I feel water behind my ear, and I’m grouchy and tired and say “What?” a lot which means my kids are grouchy too.

I pretend I know what people are saying and tend to nod compassionately.  People like agreeable people.

I say things like “Can you move to the other side to talk into my good ear?”

I have to turn off the air cleaner in order to hear the television, which is kind of counterproductive.

The line between my eyes has deepened because I have to concentrate so hard all the time.

I am thinking about going to Urgent care tomorrow but I’m a little worried that they’ll see all that shit I put in my ear and laugh at me.

 

 

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