How to kill a MAC cord and other bizarre happenings

I killed my cord last week and was hoping that it would magically come back to life, but NO.  It survived a bunny chewing.  It lived through wreckless use by teenagers.  And it DIED in my yogurt, when I dropped the computer end of it in a bowl of yogurt while it was plugged into the wall.  It’s a good thing my yogurt wasn’t electrified and didn’t come back to life as a cow.

My idiot daughter cut the screen out of her bedroom window and continues to tell me that someone else did it and she doesn’t know what happened, even when I took two knives off the inside of her windowsill.  But that isn’t the most ridiculous part.  The insanity of it all is that our cat, Lola the tiny Siamese, jumped out and a woman two houses down the street (not 75 feet away!) found her in her driveway and took her inside!  Then she took her to the animal shelter after a few hours.  Which was closed.  A $20 fine for staying overnight, a required rabies shot, and a dog catcher who said he’ll let my daughter off this time as far as a city fine (I sent her to get the cat).  I found out that cats are not allowed to be outside in this town except on their owner’s property or they can be picked up by the dog catcher as an “animal at large.”

Sec. 4-6. Animals at large.

Any animal off the premises of the owner, and not under the control of and on

leash held by the owner or a member of the owner’s immediate family or other

authorized person, or temporarily tethered by leash in an area open to the public.

No where does it say that a neighbor can pick up your cat and take it in.  She wasn’t starving.  It wasn’t 20 below.  We all walked around calling her, while she was inside the neighbor’s house!


And then there was the confession by the child about how every time she eats Airhead Xtremes she shits green.  So I shared with her that I get the same effect from Fruit Loops.  And then I realized how often we talk about bodily functions.  All the time.


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