On becoming more ZEN with men and pets

Life is a test of patience, which at times I fail badly.  And what Hutch said once was true, that whatever the issue is with me will be the issue that keeps showing up at my door.  Only she was talking about my job and I’m generalizing that to my entire life.

MEN

This one is a true test of patience for any woman.  (Some of this post I’m stealing from Abrah, but she won’t mind because she loves me.)

  • Is it necessary to spend 45 minutes talking to a dog about going for a walk, without actually leaving yet?
  • Does my pregnancy cause him to sit in a recliner in his pajamas watching television?
  • If I have to lay down after everything I do because my heart is racing and my legs are weak does that give him permission to do the same?
  • What am I supposed to say when he asks if he can help when I’m halfway through something like cooking dinner or cleaning out the toilet?
  • Thinking about doing a chore does not deserve applause.
  • If I’m carrying trash in from the dumpster and he asks if he can carry it out for me, and I’m already annoyed because I can’t find my license, it’s a bad time to  have to explain the whole thing.  Stopping me for long, complicated explanations that make me sound crazy is frustrating.
  • Saying “I would have done that” after I’m done doing something isn’t really helpful because I can wait until my shoes stick to the kitchen floor and an “I would have done that” didn’t make it any cleaner.
  • I’m sure what I’ve said 5 times isn’t useful information to a man and that’s why he can’t store it but I don’t know whether to laugh or growl when he looks surprised when I say it for the 6th time so I settle for walking out of the room to sigh.

I’m sure men have their good qualities and that’s why we keep them.  And now that I’m carrying a boy and I’m full of boy hormones I understand better how different they are from us.  My IQ has dropped 20 points and I have no idea what anyone said to me yesterday.    My processing speed is about that of his old laptop that grinds when it wakes up.

I need to finish this post and talk about pets and how I really would like a life in which everyone in my house knows where to pee, but I need something and I don’t know what it is so I’m going to wander around until I see something I might want.

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One thought on “On becoming more ZEN with men and pets

  1. We take up space in such a way, that are absence sets in commotion a spike in anxiety best not experienced on an empty stomach. Our presence provides a marker, a calmer reassurance, that we need you and our lives are much the better for your guidance

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