- Someone used my email address to sign up for SPAM. And it’s all from central Massachusetts. I know who you are!
- If being a congressman was an unpaid volunteer position with no free perks I’ll bet all those rich old white men wouldn’t apply.
- My kitten is much nicer now that his TALONS have been amputated.
- Yes, marijuana will bring down your fertility.
- Often I think that Christians like to talk about torture so much because they think porn and vampire books are sinful. It’s their “innocent” version of watching horror films.
- I don’t think hiking, horseback riding, and then cleaning out some old Native American’s house while sleeping in a church and not showering leads me to want you in my car.
- Riding a bike into the wind makes me feel like I keep pedaling and nothing happens.
- I didn’t realize how far it was to Las Vegas until I pulled up a map 4 days before I was leaving. How did it get so close to California? Why did I think it would be FUN to drive there? If I don’t come back you’ll know I decided to just live in Utah. And become a Mormon. Are they allowed to drink wine?
- Spending 2 hours on sidewalk chalk without looking at the weather forecast is like stepping into the street without looking both ways, which is something I also do.