Someone found my blog by searching for this.
So I’ll try to give you what you want.
- If you have children, take a good look at what this is doing to them. Are they withdrawn, having trouble eating, depressed, acting out? Is he starting to treat your daughter like he treats you? Is he teaching your son to talk to you like he does? I waited until my oldest was 8, and that was too long.
- Take a good look at yourself? Are you depressed? Anxious? On edge all the time? You might think at least you still have some security being with him and that it would be too much of a struggle alone, but how much do you really hurt from staying with him?
- You’re probably doing most of the work at home already. It would be easier without him.
- You’re lonely now, more lonely than you would be on your own.
- There are plenty more fish in the sea, no matter what he says. He’s only telling you that you’re lucky to have him, in order to keep you by his side. Why would if be so worried, so jealous, so controlling if he was right?
- You’ve only got so much time in this world. Is this how you’re going to use it?
- If you can find a therapist, especially one who does EMDR, go do it now.
- Even if you don’t plan on leaving today, start making a plan. It takes time. You’ll know when the time is right to walk out the door and it’ll be much easier if you already have a plan in place.
- Find a support group. Find a church. There are so many women this happens to. You are not alone. Go read the Violence Unsilenced website.
- And if you feel sorry for him and that’s why you’re staying just remember that he is a GROWNUP and although he will try everything to keep you including guilt, friendliness, anger, threats and more, he can handle life on his own.
- Every day for the rest of my life is a GIFT I gave to myself. I have never regretted leaving and I love my life now. Wouldn’t you like to be able to breathe again?