I guess the college years when Abrah and I spent alot of time together weren’t a complete waste of time. We learned how to follow cute boys around, without them knowing it, how to sneak up and spy around building corners, how to talk in code, how to blend into a crowd. These skills come in handy now, following teenagers around.
Teenage girls should be on their own branch of the human species tree. I don’t understand them. I don’t trust them. I do what any other normal mother does in these days: I stalk them.
For example, my oldest wanted to go to a high school football game. She had just been UNgrounded after a two week period of no friends/no internet/no phone. I asked her who she was going with and all those other good parenting questions. But what she says and what she does aren’t necessarily the same thing.
I took Nick with me to drop her off at City Park, for a little stalking practice session. Her little friend came down out of his tree and they walked across the park together toward the field. They weren’t looking back anymore. So we took off running from tree to tree and building to building like ninjas. Across the street 50 yards behind her. Watched her enter the field from outside the gate. Then ran along side the outside of the fence to a spot where we could watch her from 30 feet away.
Then we took pictures, so that we could post them on Facebook and let the kids tag themselves so that we would know all her of friends.
Then I yelled her name and she looked over and gave me that “OMG MOM, you’re embarrassing me look. I just want her to know that I could appear from behind any tree at any moment.