I could do a whole blog criticizing the articles MSN puts on their top news. I knew when I saw this title that it would be LAME. And crack me up. If I wasn’t busy with 3 kids, a broken dishwasher, and finding all the socks the cat steals I would definitely remind him of his hotness, because he comes home covered in sweat and paint thinner from his job. You are so HOT. Please shower.
Or I would have time to give him a massage because I was the one who carried the 43 pound bag of dog food in. I’ll just put the laundry down for a second so that he gets a good massage, just to keep him going.
Sure, I’ll send flowers to my boyfriend when he’s on a business trip. That doesn’t say JEALOUSY, DISTRUST, think about ME all the time, now does it? I’m a creepy stalker. Flowers?
I don’t know who the Kardashians are and I never have the television remote anyway! The kids do! I’m downstairs watching old episodes of LOST on my laptop, and I think he’s okay with that.
Pick up the tab? Most likely I’m the one carrying the money. Plan the date? I don’t think in all my years of dating any man has ever planned anything. Ever. And they might think they’re giving me control and that would make me happy, but really I’m just thinking that they don’t want to put in the effort to come up with anything. A bad sign.
How can I listen when they don’t say anything? Go outside my comfort zone. It seems like men think I want to stay inside so they lay on the couch and I’m the one who keeps asking if we can please go DO SOMETHING.
Anyway, here’s my list of things MEN WANT FROM THEIR WOMEN.
- Feed him. This is very very important. Good solid meat and potatoes. Have leftovers in the refrigerator.
- Take over bill paying and all financial matters so that all he has to do is work, eat, sleep, and pay attention to you. Give him an allowance.
- Buy beer instead of flowers. BEER.
- Drink beer with him. Talk about beers. Say the word “hoppy” alot.
- Find cool shows that you like. He’ll like them too. Lost, BSG, something with some brains.
- Always decide what you’re doing ahead of time and then ask him for input and gentlly push him in the direction you were going anyway, but let him think he had input. That’s all he wants. The thought that he had input, not any actual input.
- I won’t even go into the bedroom. Do it. Like it. Why not?
- Instead of huge romantic gestures, save him the last beer or do his laundry if he’s working and you’re not, or buy more travel mugs when all of yours are dirty in his car. It’s small things. Not flowers.
I’m sure I could add to this list. The things guys want are really simple: BEER, good tv. shows, FOOD, and never to make any kind of decision. Ask them. They will tell you I’m right.