We all know my life revolves around GAS and trying to eat things that make me less gassy or at least timing my gassiness for those moments when I am alone or sitting next to one of my children. I am like a gassy ninja, sneaking behind one of them so that if anyone smells it they’ll think it isn’t me, or waiting until the wind blows when I’m taking a walk so that it doesn’t waft around me like a toxic green cloud, timing my footsteps to cover the noise.
Living with someone else makes this all the more difficult. So I was very entertained last night, when I was climbing the stairs from our room in the basement to go to the bathroom, and I heard a very loud long rumble. He was not very ninja-like in waiting only until the second I left the room. I would have waited until I heard the bathroom door shut, stood next to the wide open window and slowly let it out while waving a magazine, lit a candle, and practiced my best innocent look.
I mentioned this when I got back downstairs and then to soften his embarrassment I confessed that a couple of days ago when he found me lying on my bed with the door shut and said it smelled like Taco Bell and I had no idea what he was talking about–that was actually me enjoying a moment of privacy.