Boundaries with Exes, Asking my kids to keep a secret from me, and the return of James

Am I the only one who visualizes my personal space as having well definited limits and boundaries that I set up in order to keep myself safe and happy and not so vulnerable to other people’s drama? 

So James, why did you email my daughter on Facebook last night wishing her good luck on the move?  And then ask her not to tell me you talked to her?

She scored major points with me by showing me immediately.  I don’t want my children to lie.  Withholding things like that is lying, James.  Telling you that you have caused enough harm and not to speak to me again includes my family as well.  Sneaking behind my back to talk to my children only highlights the very reason we were never going to work.  A lack of integrity and knowing right from wrong.

It also means that you’re still reading this blog.  So I can call you on your shit, knowing that you’re going to read this.  I don’t want your good wishes and I don’t need your excuses.  Everything in life is a choice.  Even a “bad place” in life doesn’t mean that those choices are being made by someone other than YOU. 

Every once in a while something happens that shows me that I have done well as a parent.  My child, no matter how moody and impulsive and outspoken, still feels a great sense of loyalty to me.  She knows that keeping secrets is not good for our family.  She made the right choice.  I am proud of her for not listening to an adult who is asking her to lie to her mother.

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