It’s not a nice morning when you have to chew your breakfast drink and it smells a little fishy.
I chopped up a small piece of onion and put it in a salad last night and ended up laying down for a little while afterwards with the sharpest pains in my stomach. Okay, so now you feel bad for me. But the worst part was that I went to take the trash out and without thinking I let out some gas in the parking lot. Then I realized I was outside and I looked around out of the corner of my eye (so that my neighbors wouldn’t think I was watching them) and there was #14 sitting on her doorstep. So I pretended it wasn’t me, although I’m not sure she could tell this by the minute change in my expression to one of happy-go-lucky-I-didn’t-just-eat-raw-onion-and-fart-in-the-parking-lot.
I’m looking for jobs now and I do hope any potential employer who googles me and finds this blog won’t think that just because I talk openly about certain things, it doesn’t mean I’ll do this at work and that I’m just attempting to pave the way for all those other parking lot farters to speak more openly about it and not hide in the closet and feel like they’re the only ones in the whole wide world to forget that other people are within hearing distance.