There’s nothing GOOD in Wyoming

My youngest child doesn’t remember Wyoming and does not want to even think about moving back, so I decided in my ultimate therapist wisdom to exaggerate how bad it’s going to be because she can not think of  single good thing that might come of this.

  • When she sees her first grizzly she’ll say “Oh, look another big dog.”
  • When she visits the Tetons she’ll say “I made sand castles bigger than this.”
  • When she sees a waterfall she’ll just have to pee.
  • She’ll be so busy moping that she’ll miss Old Faithful.
  • When Nick’s dog wants to play with her she’ll just be annoyed.
  • When our new black kitten is being cute she’ll say “I HATE kittens.”
  • When she plays in the backyard, she’ll get bored and go play in the street so that people can watch her every move.
  • There are NO nice kids in Wyoming.
  • When she sees Tarri she’ll just say “You have gray hair now.”
  • All of her teachers will look like Snape and hit her in the head with books.
  • The library has two books:  How to Kill Kittens and I love My Sister.
  • She’ll share a giant room with her sister but we’ll separate it with a wall and give her only enough room for her bed so that she has to jump out of it to get out the door.
  • The school uniform is a pink spandex onesie for the girls AND the boys.
  • Brownies with coffee frosting are illegal in Wyoming.
  • When she sees all those Rodeo guys in their tight wranglers she’ll just think about how they block out the sun.
  • There are NO cute boys.

Nope, there is absolutely nothing to look forward to.  She agreed with me.  So now every time she smiles or laughs when we’re out there I get to point out that it just isn’t possible.


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