My youngest child doesn’t remember Wyoming and does not want to even think about moving back, so I decided in my ultimate therapist wisdom to exaggerate how bad it’s going to be because she can not think of single good thing that might come of this.
- When she sees her first grizzly she’ll say “Oh, look another big dog.”
- When she visits the Tetons she’ll say “I made sand castles bigger than this.”
- When she sees a waterfall she’ll just have to pee.
- She’ll be so busy moping that she’ll miss Old Faithful.
- When Nick’s dog wants to play with her she’ll just be annoyed.
- When our new black kitten is being cute she’ll say “I HATE kittens.”
- When she plays in the backyard, she’ll get bored and go play in the street so that people can watch her every move.
- There are NO nice kids in Wyoming.
- When she sees Tarri she’ll just say “You have gray hair now.”
- All of her teachers will look like Snape and hit her in the head with books.
- The library has two books: How to Kill Kittens and I love My Sister.
- She’ll share a giant room with her sister but we’ll separate it with a wall and give her only enough room for her bed so that she has to jump out of it to get out the door.
- The school uniform is a pink spandex onesie for the girls AND the boys.
- Brownies with coffee frosting are illegal in Wyoming.
- When she sees all those Rodeo guys in their tight wranglers she’ll just think about how they block out the sun.
- There are NO cute boys.
Nope, there is absolutely nothing to look forward to. She agreed with me. So now every time she smiles or laughs when we’re out there I get to point out that it just isn’t possible.