Wow, my blog has gotten too serious lately. What could be less funny that disability money, nasty teenagers, and birth control? But this is the world I live in. Long stretches of sarcasm interrupted briefly by reality. I PROMISE that after this post I’ll find something humorous to write. Unless of course you find cramping, foreign objects, mood swings, and hanging strings funny.
It’s day 31 of my new pill-less hormone free life and I am not happy. Headaches, extreme cramping, and 4 days of spotting followed by 4 days of a real period and counting. If the first few months of withdrawal are supposed to be pretty light until the real thing kicks in then I’m just screwed.
So I went to see my doctor yesterday. She suggested trying the Mirena IUD instead of just completely coming off. I think that some people just don’t do well with the hormones in any form of birth control, and I usually am okay, so that wouldn’t bother me. What I am not happy with is having ANY foreign object stuck anywhere and having to check strings to make sure it’s still there. I was trying to talk myself into it until the Mirena website said that you have to use tampons carefully so that you don’t pull on the strings. Are they hanging that low? I would end up thinking about it all the time. Don’t jump too high or it’ll fall out! Don’t dogpile me kids or I’ll lose my IUD! OMG, I just SNEEZED, I have to check my strings! I have enough trouble keeping Haley’s retainer in place. How could I ever keep track of something like that?
So last night my head was mulling this over while I was sleeping, as it does when there’s a decision to be made. I half woke up and thought “Yeah, that’s the way it has to be.” Then my friend talked to me this morning and she wants me to do something about this because she’s within the 100 mile radius of people being affected by my pheromone levels. That was the final straw. I have to regulate myself if she’s ever going to have a normal life and I honestly don’t think that 2600 miles is going to make a difference in how my cycle affects hers.
Well, it was worth a shot. I lasted 31 days. All the energy and wakefulness and emotions were great, but it’s not worth spending 1/2 of my life feeling like death. Why can’t the female body just be simple?