DELL owes me a new Christmas

I bought my second dell battery for my laptop.  I love my laptop.  I am lost without my laptop.  I want it to work.  I want to be able to carry it around with me.  Otherwise it’s a desktop computer.  I want it to lay warmly on my lap, like a cat.  Purring and keeping me company.

At first I thought it was the battery’s fault, so I recalibrated my microprocessor, I went off to make some homemade mayonaise, I took out the trash.  I unplugged and rebooted and brushed and cried and whined and talked to Abrah.

The battery is more DEAD than it was before. It was at 54% and then dropped to 16% and now is just useless.

The problem is the error message I’ve been getting for a few months now whenever I start up the laptop.   My laptop doesn’t recognize my power adapter.  That’s like me not recognizing a bottle of Love My Goat Red even when it’s wrapped and under the Christmas tree.  Please disconnect and try again.  Please use the bathroom, vacuum under the couch, and breathe 23 times, and try again.

Same message.  Only I’m a little more insane than the last time.

So it’s not my battery’s fault.  And the cord makes the laptop work.  It’s plugged in but not charging.  What good is my shiny new battery if I can’t charge it!!!!

Dell has a good game going on.  Batteries die, cords die, and I need it to work.  I NEED it to work.  Listen, Dell people, you make a really good laptop and really crappy disposable accessories.  I might just become a MAC person soon.  I have no idea what they are like but I’ll bet they like Blue Font.  Oh no!  I don’t know how to make Blue Font on wordpress yet.  This is just not my day.

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