The Terror of the Tamagotchi

These are not toys for children. They are prison wardens to keep caring mothers trapped inside their homes, in the dark, pressing buttons in an effort to avoid heariing the painful sobbing of children whose pets die when no one is there to watch them.

The handheld “pet” is more finicky than my youngest child was when she was a baby and hated everyone. The thing beeps when it wants something, or has an idea (is that the question mark above its head?), or gets a letter from some unknown source. Most of it only a ten year old could decipher, as the current generation of mothers had a rubix cube as a toy and it never wanted anything more than to frustrate the user until all the stickers got peeled off and glued back on in the correct places.

The tamagotchi needs to be fed (hitting a couple of buttons), played with (small games of speedy reflexes which mothers of teenagers lost after years of chasing children into the street), and cleaned up after when it goes poo (they need this tool for the kids’ rooms–a big black bar sweeps across the screen, slides the poo to the edge, and it disappears!!!!).

The thing sleeps, although it sleeps much less than anyone in this house! It’s still up partying when I go to bed late at night and I hear it before my alarm clock goes off in the morning, beeping away cause it pooed itself. If left too long it will DIE– quietly turning into an angel. It’s a beautiful peaceful ending to a frenzied short life and the perfect reason to take a nap, head to the grocery store, or take an uninterrupted shower. But then all hell breaks loose when the child, after days of leaving it in my care, losing it under the bed, or forgetting it all Saturday morning until it BEEPS for someone to rescue it (I feel bad for it and try to save it), –the child finds it DEAD under the couch cushion and cries harder than she did when I got food poisoning and thought I was going to die in the bathroom the day after Christmas last year. Wait, she didn’t cry at all!!!!!

Would it be wrong to murder the tamagotchi while she’s at school and bury it in the backyard???
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2 thoughts on “The Terror of the Tamagotchi

  1. Why is it that I hear so many people complaining about Tamagotchi toys beeping at night?They’re not supposed to – you set the pet’s internal clock to match a real clock, and it sleeps roughly between 8 PM and 8 AM.Is everybody making the same mistake?

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