Kristi’s Hypothetical Facebook Obituary

Kristi will be sadly missed by her family and all her friends on Facebook, including people that she hadn’t seen in twenty years, old boyfriends, and the occasional rock star. She led a long and active life that revolved around plowing her fields and begging for harvesting workers in Farmtown, committing random acts of crime with her gang in Mafia Wars, and posting stupid pictures of squidlike thread on her profile page. She was always getting old friends together and guilting them into friending each other, as well as making everyone feel welcome by leaving sarcastic comments anywhere she could. She was a great help in the community as well. Her efforts at curbing teen angst that had been left for future employers to see and her ability to spy on the underworld of the teen population through a puppet, made the world a safer, less bitter place. We will miss her profile picture and her little green dot, which she left on almost all the time so that none of her friends would feel alone. We hope that all her quiz results and her IQ score will remain up so that the world can always compare themselves to this great Facebook icon.
Donations will be accepted in her memory at The Recovery Center For Facebook Addicts.

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