The Mirena can disappear or worse. Or this can happen.

Did you know that the hormone in the Mirena could cause “the masculinization of the external female genitalia of the female fetus?”  This quote is from the Full Prescribing Information link on the official Mirena website.  Or it can tear a hole in your uterus leading to a hysterectomy, scar tissue, and life long health issues.

 

Or this could happen:

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As I lay on the ultrasound table waiting for the ultrasound person to goo my belly, I asked her if this was all a joke she’d played on me the month before when I had discovered that I was pregnant and she had spent an hour looking for the lost Mirena.

It’s hard to be in denial when this little Buddha bellied fetus is standing on its head and waving.  I still think I’m just getting fat and not that there’s someone alive in there.  I’m a baby hotel.  A Super 8.  Or a Days Inn.  Stay Free for 9 Months in Flashing Neon on my forehead.

The worst part (Or one of the worst parts because I keep starting out conversations that way) is that my oldest daughter’s friends seem to all be having babies and my baby will be younger!!!

Maybe I should just train the two babies (don’t forget my 14 month old) to call me Grandma and then I look like a self-sacrificing Grandmother instead of an idiot.

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