Never get a credit card from CHASE.

I used a chase card for 4 years and ran a lot of money through to help my credit and paid off my bill.  I even left a balance sometimes to make it look good.  Then I got a Discover card and decided to go with the 5% cash back plan.  I got a new Chase Card in the mail about 3 years ago and never activated it.  I should have closed the account, but I didn’t.

I switched over my yearly Sirius Radio billing when the radio stopped working and never thought another thing about CHASE.

In February, 2012 my credit score was 2 points from perfect.

UNTIL November 2013 when we bought a second car and I found out that my Chase card had a balance of $333 on it and they had closed the account and sent it to collections.  How had someone used my card if the activated one had expired?

I got in touch with Chase and they sent me to Erick Villamore, 866-932-9147 extension 15808.  I left him a dozen messages.  The extension always went straight to voicemail.  The number always went to voicemail if I didn’t punch in the extension.  Sometimes the number was even disconnected.  I got a letter saying to call him.  This wasn’t working.

I called customer service, who sent me EVERY STATEMENT I EVER HAD AT CHASE.  Another tree bites the dust.

Sirius had charged my yearly fee to a card without a correct expiration date.  I found out this is legal!  I got no statements from Chase, no emails, no phone calls.  They just let it go 6 months, added late fees upon late fees and then closed it.

Customer service put me through to Erick, who played a little game with me called let me put you on hold and pretend to talk to my supervisor.  No, they wouldn’t take off the late fees and let me pay the original balance.  No, they wouldn’t take this off my credit.  He seemed really confused about what I told him about never knowing there was a balance.  He finally said he’d have a different department call me.  No, they didn’t have a number where I could call them.

I got another letter with no name or contact information telling me they did a thorough investigation and the account balance is accurate.

At least the collections place they had sent it to offered to take 2/3 off!  For all the years I was a good customer there, it would have been a nice gesture to help me out by taking off the fees and fixing my credit, even just saying Paid in Full and closed.  I wouldn’t be writing this blog.

I’ve got nowhere really to go from here, except to say I’m not paying it and I may as well just wait for it to fall off.

Oh, and I contacted the 3 credit bureaus along the way, who also “investigated” it, back when I had no idea how there was any balance on the card as I had never activated it.  All 3 said the information was accurate, that I did OWN THE CARD.

I could spend thousands in lawyer’s fees clearing this all up but I think instead I’ll just say

DO NOT EVER GET A CHASE CREDIT CARD.

 

 

 

 

 

I miss my FORD FOCUS and I feel bad it was adopted by a possible serial killer.

I had to sell my car because it wasn’t worth dragging across country again and needed some repairs.  I was hoping it would go to a teenage friend of my daughters, but instead we sold it to some weirdo who asked Nick to bring it to his house and kidnapped him for two hours late at night when he was supposed to be giving the baby his final feeding, leaving me up and exhausted and wondering if he was ever coming back.

I admit I got pissed off that he was still gone and I was an hour past my bedtime.  And then when he got home we didn’t talk about it.  I handed him the baby and went to bed.  And then this morning we were too busy getting the house ready for it to be shown so we didn’t talk.  And then I just called him and he said he sent me an email explaining what happened.  Which really isn’t how I want to handle conflict, but now I’m glad he emailed this because I can post it:

“When I got to his house it took about 5 minutes for him to come out because his wife was being weird about the car. When Tom came out he was like let’s go! We drove the car down mountain view and he pulled into brewgards drive thru and got a six pack of beer. We then drove out to the airport and around beacon hill. Then he said want to see some property I found? He said its just a minute away. We drove to a place by 2AB and drove the car to the river where a house is that his cousin (a really rich guy) just bought. We left there and got back on the highway heading back towards town and he turned onto 2AB. I thought we were coming back to town bypassing the construction. Then just a bit up the road he said I want to show you what I’ve been working on. He is a lonely talkative guy. I said I need to get home. He said it will only be a minute. The place he took me to was a ranch that I worked on for a summer. He took me inside to show me his log restoration project. I was trying to go the whole time. He just talks too much. Then we left and drove back through the construction and back to his house by Travis’s. The whole time while we are driving through town, he was driving probably 15 MPH and I knew you were getting mad before then. I said come on! Drive faster, I need to get home. We went in and he was going to write the check and I was talking to his wife about the new cars she was interested in. Then he just talked and talked and his wife finally wrote the check and then I got him to drive me back to our house. I wasn’t wanting to be out that long at all. I thought it would take maybe an hour. I’m sorry.”

This cracks me up but also makes me wonder if the guy is a budding serial killer, if the check will be any good, and I really miss my lovely little car.  I am so tired today.  If the baby had eaten and gone to bed I might have been fine, but he was up for an extra half hour refusing to burp and farting really loudly.  That’s why I handed him to Nick and went to bed.

I feel like crap EVERY DAY because my thyroid is WHACKED.

So my good friend said it’s a thyroid imbalance that’s causing the weird head symptoms and signs of early menopause.  But once I start looking at symptoms I became so confused because there are hundreds and now I think I’m going to die.

And I know she’s right because I’m so hormonally imbalanced that I do feel like I’m leaving over like a V8 commercial all the time.  And I know it gets worse when I’m stressed because today, after spending an hour on the phone hunting down a chase bill that shouldn’t be the pressure in my head became unbearable and my ear plugged up and I started crying.

So I’m trying to fix this with herbs and such and this Love Your Thyroid back to health program.  The first step is cutting out caffeine completely.  I’m already saying WHY and HOW and my life sucks.  But ok.  I have felt like living like this is worse than being dead and wondering how long I can take it before I can’t take it anymore.  So no caffeine.  Day Zero.

Watch out for the CRAZY BITCH tomorrow.

The best reply at work to my Resignation Letter

Sorry to see you go but I understand the Chicken Farming opportunity. Go you!

I considered the same several years ago and would suggest a bit more research on your part. Although Vermont is a great area, income taxes are quite high there. Nebraska would be a better location. Also you should not restrict the type of poultry are you farming to just to chickens, turkeys fetch a better profit margin in some years. You should also consider expanding your product line as well. Many people eat chicken breasts but legs, thighs, gizzards, livers etc. are also enjoyed by many.

I personally enjoy chicken crown. This is a link to one of my favorites: http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/2424/fragrant-crown-roast-of-chicken-with-sausage-rolls

Don’t pass up the opportunity to raise therapy chickens. http://www.care2.com/causes/chicken-therapy-a-new-way-to-help-alzheimers-patients.html

Boy do I hear you on the memory loss. I have witnessed many having that happen to them through the years. I am surprised your doctor has not discussed hormone therapy with you. Check out these links, it may help with your issues.

http://www.jurosmedical.com/Menopause/?gclid=CIzHnOn8v70CFVKDfgodnBYAMQ

http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsweek/Dealing_with_the_symptoms_of_menopause.htm

So long,

Gary

My resignation letter

I am writing this resignation email to all of you, Jessica-style, because I hate it when people just disappear and I don’t know why they decided to leave or where they went.

 

I have been offered a better opportunity and must leave this dream job in order to become a chicken farmer in Vermont. I feel it’s time to start moving up the ladder and this job change will allow for more personal growth opportunities, not that I haven’t enjoyed spending time with all of you and getting to know you on so many levels. It is just time for a change in focus and from now on my focus will be on the size of my chicken breasts.

 

I thank you for all the memories you have given me that I won’t remember because I’m old and menopause makes me forgetful. But thank you anyway for the fodder for my writing endeavors after a decent amount of time has legally passed.

 

Although being Employee of the Year for 2012 was the pinnacle of my career, I feel there is nothing more I can do here and so I am moving on to greener pastures.

 

And Jud, happy birthday. I bequeath you my Good For One Drink at the Silver Dollar token. Come get it.

Weird head buzzing and feeling like falling over, humming in ears, anxiety, blood pressure spikes and head rushes. I figured it out! Perimenopause has hit me like a brick wall only a brick wall doesn’t move so I must have run into it when I wasn’t looking.

The longest title EVER but I have trouble thinking so I can’t make it any better.  One other reason I haven’t blogged much in the past 2 years (besides the working and babies and lack of free time) is that I would only be whining about my health and how bad it is and all the doctors I’ve seen, one of which told me to chew gum.  I don’t want to be a whiner.  I am a whiner.  I know that.  I don’t want to be a WORSE whiner.  But I’ve figured it out and I am mostly just angry right now.  I know why I’m ill and crazy.

It started with an ear infection but after that was treated my ears still buzzed.  I went to four doctors, including an ENT, who said their was nothing wrong and no fluid in my ears and the ENT told me to chew gum which only made my jaw all creaky.  The dentist said to stop doing that.

Then I got pregnant again completely accidentally on an IUD that didn’t exist.  And I chalked all the weird head shit up to pregnancy.  Well, I had him in December and since then all this weirdness has gotten so bad that I’ve gone to the ER twice and my family doctor and gotten prescriptions for everything from pain meds to Atavan.  I think the ER dr. thinks I’m crazy and having panic attacks even though I told him I’m a therapist and although I’m stressed I know what a panic attack looks like.

And then I found this wonderful post: Does anyone peri have this weird head feeling? on a gardening site and it is EXACTLY WHAT I FEEL LIKE so much that near the end of the comments I started crying, which is also something I do a lot these days.  I was probably in perimenopause when I was pregnant and crying over Grey’s Anatomy, but now I cry over episodes of LOST I’ve already seen.

Yes, when I move my head it feels like my brain shifts and my eyes take a while to catch up.  The top of my head hums and feels like it’s being electrically shocked. Noise makes it worse.  My blood pressure has always been incredibly low but now spikes up to 165/89.  The doctors don’t even mention that.  I feel like I might fall forward at any moment, like the floor is squishy when I walk on it.  I have so much trouble processing thoughts.  And I do feel anxiety about these things happening to me every day, sometimes all day long.  It’s not really vertigo or being dizzy.  It’s different.  I’m off balance.

Most sites don’t list ALL the symptoms of menopause.  This one at Healthline is the best.  It would seem that instead of hot flashes I have weird head shit.

WHY DON’T DOCTORS KNOW THIS?

They did a catscan and MRI on my brain!!!!!!!!!!  They told me nothing was wrong with me.  I thought I was going to die.  I thought I had lost my  mind, which I think I have, but the buzzing is too loud to know for sure.  Do they think I’m too young????  I’m 43.  It starts now and it goes on for 10 years and there’s no cure.

I gave up coffee yesterday and that just made me crabby.  And I gave up wine for a day and I just felt depressed.  I got some exercise jumping off playground equipment and now I ache all over.  I’m just going to have to live like this and read that site every once in a while to remind myself that I’m not alone and that getting older SUCKS ASS.

If you see a woman in her early 40′s who is anxious and depressed and losing her mind, please be kind.

And oh, by the way, I’m still fertile as HELL.

What happens when a abusive narcissist goes to a therapist who is also a narcissist

If you need a definition of narcissism go here.

There are abusive people and maybe they all have a little bit of narcissism, but an abusive person who has true Narcissistic Personality Disorder will act this way with everyone, not just in their intimate relationship.  They generally are loved by everyone, very generous, outgoing, feed off the energy and adoration of others or sometimes on the negative chaos they create with partners.  They have a grandiose view of themselves and their role in the world and no empathy for others.

I’m writing this on the basis of knowing if the abusing man has NPD and what that is.  Because the question for me is What kind of therapist does an NPD abuser need in order to get better?

I am not one who thinks that any abusive man can get better.  I think once you cross the line to abuse it’s really hard to make that line for yourself again.  Perhaps some get better.  I don’t care to know.

Therapists who work with batterers say that the first step is to have them admit what they did.  Admission of guilt seems to be sometimes the only step.  But what if he does admit it, to his family, to her, to the police?  And then he walks into a therapist’s office and then admits to physical violence?  Any good therapist will sit back and think about what the manipulation is.  They’ll staff this with colleagues.  Do some journal reading.

Let’s just throw in a twist on this one.  In order to be a therapist, a student has to complete a master’s degree, pass one of more national exams, and find a job with supervision.  These are all academic things to finish and do not PROVE that a person is healthy or not mentally ill themselves.  There are some therapists who can be just as ill as their clients.  Or narcissistic.  What can feed a narcissist better than telling other people what to do and be considered the expert because of a degree and a sign above their door?

So if the narcissistic batterer goes to the wrong therapist and admits his crime it’s like the old PONG computer game with one feeding off the other and then back and forth.  I make you feel like a great therapist because I admit my crime.  You make me feel validated in beating her because I tell you she doesn’t support me emotionally and you tell me that’s true.  I make you feel like you got somewhere because I allow you to DIG up this deep dark secret about my trust issues.  You make me feel like the smartest person in the world because you just bought what I said and agree it’s a bit her fault for not working on my trust issues with me.  Back and forth.  Back and forth.  You think I’m such a good guy and I think you’re such a good therapist.

Meanwhile, it’s now two narcissists against one battered women who will no doubt be told by one or both that this is somehow her fault for not listening, supporting, or being trustworthy.  And she doesn’t know this is about to happen and is not prepared.

Is it true then that you can’t cure a narcissist, you can only feed the monster?  That you can’t stop the abuse, you can only teach him to manipulate better?  That therapy is sometimes dangerous?