Spiders in the Woods

I took Jude for a walk in the woods today.  Our woods.  It’s hard to think like that sometimes.  But now the woods are ours.  I showed him how to use a long stick to wave in front of you while you walk to knock all the spiders down that had swung across the road and make a home between the trees and right in front of your face.  GAH.  When I think about being a kid and all the times I would run around without looking and with my mouth open, I wonder how many spiders I’ve swallowed or had in my hair.  I miss the days when I was free of spider anxiety.  The days when I would look under logs to see what was there.  The days of wandering through tall hay or weeds.

It all ended about 10 years ago when I chased a firefly into the hay field in the dark and ran into a big something fuzzy and the size of a basketball at waist level and ran back out of the field.  And never went in again.


Day 8 of The Very Low Carb Diet for GERD, hydrochloria

The Omeprazole wasn’t working so I stopped taking it today.  I bought some HCL and food enzymes.  I took one pill last night at the end of dinner and things weren’t any worse.  This morning I took one at the end of breakfast and I haven’t had any symptoms of acid reflux yet.  For the first time in a year or more I feel okay.  I don’t know if this is going to work yet.  I have hope.

I read that too little stomach acid can cause GERD, so the medication the doctor gave me would make that worse, as it gets rid of any stomach acid.  Low stomach acid can cause the esophagus sphincter to get lazy as acid is what cues it to close.  And when it is weak due to pregnancies and laziness acid and food can come up into the throat.  This low carb diet and taking HCL should kill some of the H pylori if that’s also a problem and will raise the acid level enough that after a while things should start to work okay again.

How does a person end up with little stomach acid?  Food doesn’t digest well, and I already know that I don’t digest easily so maybe this is just a continuation of the IBS.

Anyway, the doctor was trying to kill me and I am hopeful that heading in a different direction will work.  There is no reason for me to have acid reflux.  I don’t eat anything on the list of things not to eat.  I am not overweight.  I don’t smoke.  Why would a doctor give me a pill without checking to see what the underlying problem is?

The risks of being an older mother after pregnancy

I googled the title and got nothing. I wonder if they’ve even studied it.

Bad bad things happen after giving birth when you can’t recover like a 20 year old.

I don’t know if the TMJ was caused by it, but it did get worse probably due to lack and sleep and stress.  So no eating hard foods or chewy foods.

Then I came down with GERD, acid reflux burning all the way up into my sinuses.  I don’t know when it started because between pregnancies I was ill and then got pregnant again and was ill, but I finally gave up and went to a doctor who gave me omeprazole and told me I would be on it the rest of my life.  Yeah, no.  She said the muscles that keep food down had weakened due to the pressure caused by my uterus growing bigger and pushing up.

Also, after 8 months my cholesterol is high which is the oddest thing as I don’t eat anything on the don’t eat list and I am just assuming pregnancy has something to do with it as a pregnant person has more cholesterol and mine perhaps just hasn’t gone back down.

What really irritates me is that a couple of months after I had Julian I went to many different doctors at Billings Clinic, the ER at West Park Hospital and Urgent care because my ear was always plugged and hurt, then vertigo and the floor feeling spongy, and then head rushes and nausea.  They all looked at me like I was crazy, literally crazy.  Constant ear infection like symptoms without infection can be a sign of TMJ.  GAH

So I will get a splint for my jaw in another week.  Which is wonderful.  Both sides of my jaw come completely out of the socket and around a corner every single time I open my mouth.

And I’ve done some reading on GERD, as all the homeopathic solutions like apple cider vinegar don’t work for me.  I cut down my dosage of the awful omeprazole from 40 to 20 because my stomach was burning and at the same time I started a very low carb diet.  The first day my stomach was a little upset and I felt like I had to keep eating to make it feel better.  The second day wasn’t as bad and I could ignore it at times.  Today is the third day and I felt pretty good most of the day.  I now realize that every time I ate carbs I would get the cool burning in my throat.  In a couple of days I’ll stop taking the poison at all, but I’m worried about withdrawal because I’ve been on it for 3 1/2 weeks.  It did give my throat some time to heal, but I really need stomach acid.  Everyone needs stomach acid.

I was really healthy until I got pregnant at 40 and had two babies.  Now I’m falling apart.

Wolf Spiders Can Swim


This is a picture of Nick right before he found the wolf spider.  He’s still smiling.

Nick paddles a kayak like he plunges a toilet, with forceful purpose and not a little splashing.  He was very excited to take the single person kayak out around the lake.  And immediately tipped it over.  Right after this picture was taken he stopped laughing and started screaming when he saw a hand sized black spider on the side of the kayak as he was taking it back to the dock to get back in.


This picture is very unclear, but what is clear is that Nick is likely to do EXACTLY the wrong thing when dealing with a spider and is the reason I run away screaming every time, not at the spider but at Nick and what he will do next with it.  The GIANT WOLF SPIDER started swimming alongside the kayak


which explains Gina’s face in this picture.  Everyone started yelling “Is it swimming?”  And then Gina realized that she had been in the kayak the day before for a trip around the lake and hadn’t looked inside first.

Nick walked over to the swimming spider and smacked it out of the water with his hand, tossing it up onto the dock where I had been standing with the camera until just a moment before when I had run halfway up the hill.  It bounced off the dock and into the water.

I will never go into a lake again.





Don’t put Laminate Flooring in your KITCHEN; Embracing the Inner Ghetto Queen, This House might be CURSED.

We bought a new refrigerator for the house.  We had to as my parents moved theirs to their new house.  So we bought a nice stainless steel, ice in the door, freezer on the bottom, GOD of a refrigerator.  I feel in love the first time I saw it in the Sears showroom. Little did I know it should have included a new kitchen floor.

Someone hooked it up to the old water intake hose.  Which happened to have a hole in the middle of it.  Which leaked underneath the kitchen floor because the trim was never done and with laminate flooring there’s a gap at the edges for it to “float.”  The water pooled under the floor because the original linoleum was still there and after two weeks got deep enough to soak into the laminate and start to warp it.  By the time I found one piece lifting up it was too late to do anything other than tear it all up and throw it over the deck with a rather satisfying bang.  It was smelly with two week old water in 90 degree heat.  GAH.

Now my floor is 1980’s linoleum that has yellowed with age.  I cried for a few minutes as I was mopping up the smelly swamp.  But now I’m embracing the ghetto side of me that loves linoleum, especially yellowed linoleum that smells like a old trailer and has many holes in it that pucker up from Nick trying to drill through from below to let the water escape, right before we decided to amputate the entire floor.

One water leak and laminate ends up in a smelly pile on the lawn.

I realize that this is not a funny post, but I think my house might be cursed.  No access to high speed internet.  Cell phones that only use if you walk around holding it above your head, and now a beautiful refrigerator in the middle of a floor meant for a ghetto queen.

How to Kick Your Parents Out

I never thought my parents would be houseguests in my house, at least not until they got old enough to need someone to care for them but since I bought the house I grew up in so they would have the money to build a new one they’ve been my houseguests.  And it’s time for them to move out on their own.

I’ve been trying to find the best way to tell them this:

I’ve decided it’s time for me to live independently?

I think I’ve done all I can do here?

Don’t you want to get away from all the crying babies and teenagers?

There comes a time in one’s life when a person needs to stop clinging to the apron strings?

Maybe I should do a Grey’s Anatomy on them.

Speaking of which, I DID NOT KNOW that I was buying a house where high speed internet was impossible.  Where cell reception is so bad that to send a text I have to wander around with my phone upside side above my head until I catch a ray of signal.  I DID NOT KNOW that Amazon Prime doesn’t work and I don’t mean instant streaming.  Of course that doesn’t work without internet.  No, I’m talking about 2 day shipping.  Doesn’t exist here.  In fact, here doesn’t even exist.  We are at this moment the only house in Wheelock that’s not actually in Wheelock.  The rest of Wheelock is way over there and we’re up a dirt road in Sheffield.  So to get a box delivered I have to try towns until it will take one.  And then hope something shows up.

That’s enough for today, but remind me to tell you about the rest of my life later.  Over coffee in the morning.

Never get a credit card from CHASE.

I used a chase card for 4 years and ran a lot of money through to help my credit and paid off my bill.  I even left a balance sometimes to make it look good.  Then I got a Discover card and decided to go with the 5% cash back plan.  I got a new Chase Card in the mail about 3 years ago and never activated it.  I should have closed the account, but I didn’t.

I switched over my yearly Sirius Radio billing when the radio stopped working and never thought another thing about CHASE.

In February, 2012 my credit score was 2 points from perfect.

UNTIL November 2013 when we bought a second car and I found out that my Chase card had a balance of $333 on it and they had closed the account and sent it to collections.  How had someone used my card if the activated one had expired?

I got in touch with Chase and they sent me to Erick Villamore, 866-932-9147 extension 15808.  I left him a dozen messages.  The extension always went straight to voicemail.  The number always went to voicemail if I didn’t punch in the extension.  Sometimes the number was even disconnected.  I got a letter saying to call him.  This wasn’t working.

I called customer service, who sent me EVERY STATEMENT I EVER HAD AT CHASE.  Another tree bites the dust.

Sirius had charged my yearly fee to a card without a correct expiration date.  I found out this is legal!  I got no statements from Chase, no emails, no phone calls.  They just let it go 6 months, added late fees upon late fees and then closed it.

Customer service put me through to Erick, who played a little game with me called let me put you on hold and pretend to talk to my supervisor.  No, they wouldn’t take off the late fees and let me pay the original balance.  No, they wouldn’t take this off my credit.  He seemed really confused about what I told him about never knowing there was a balance.  He finally said he’d have a different department call me.  No, they didn’t have a number where I could call them.

I got another letter with no name or contact information telling me they did a thorough investigation and the account balance is accurate.

At least the collections place they had sent it to offered to take 2/3 off!  For all the years I was a good customer there, it would have been a nice gesture to help me out by taking off the fees and fixing my credit, even just saying Paid in Full and closed.  I wouldn’t be writing this blog.

I’ve got nowhere really to go from here, except to say I’m not paying it and I may as well just wait for it to fall off.

Oh, and I contacted the 3 credit bureaus along the way, who also “investigated” it, back when I had no idea how there was any balance on the card as I had never activated it.  All 3 said the information was accurate, that I did OWN THE CARD.

I could spend thousands in lawyer’s fees clearing this all up but I think instead I’ll just say